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Confused sheep with Knitted Brows

cwoh2011_bm0232Sheep are not geniuses. Their brains are small and most of their energy is used for wool production and expressing fear of every single thing that ever occurs. Years of slow-witted observation have taught the sheep at DHV that each spring, humans steal their beloved wool through the humiliating process of shearing, but they never knew why until last weekend.

No sheep can ever forget the feeling of being grabbed by a human and having those electric or hand shears run over the whole body till the lovely wool is gone. Yes, nudity feels good as the Texas summer heats up, but they look so silly. The farmstead humans always wash the wool, a task made necessary by the sheep’s questionable hygiene habits. Visitors watch as the wool is smoothed with the cards and spun into long strings. “But why?” the bewildered sheep would ask herself.

DSCN0615On Saturday, a crowd of strangers arrived to show the sheep what humans do with such strings. The sheep watched as the yarn bombers covered hitching posts, trees, and anything else that would stand still with bright patterns of mixed color and texture. Yarn, as it turns out, is the material from which art is made. Is that a yarn deer standing next to a yarn rocking chair? There are stick pony heads, yarn vegetables, and fake chickens, which the sheep consider much cuter and less noisy than the real ones.

A rare moment of insight occurred, and the sheep knew they were not just farm animals working as educators in a museum. Surely no other animals could produce the raw materials for human creativity. They were contributors to art! And since they live in the Cedars, in a loft-like live/work space with good light and an open floor plan, they were cutting edge Cedars artists. They danced with joy, but with no rhythm or sense of balance. They filled out their applications to join the Cedars Neighborhood Association, and they bought berets and black turtlenecks to wear to gallery openings. They refuse to associate with the donkeys, who are so terribly bourgeois.

We have never seen our sheep so happy. Please don’t tell them that yarn bombers prefer to make their creations using yarn made of……acrylic! The truth would break their wooly little hearts.

Next week, we visit the owners of the acrylic factory as they learn they are part of the Cedars art scene and dance with joy—proving that humans dance better than sheep.

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